Why Divorce Makes You Feel Crazy (and How to Heal)

Let’s be real—if you’re going through divorce, you’ve probably asked yourself at least once, “Am I losing my mind?”You’re not alone. After supporting thousands of women through this messy, exhausting season, I can confirm: it’s totally normal to feel a little “crazy.”

As I shared in the finale of Season 9 of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club podcast, there are very real reasons why divorce turns your world upside down. The good news? Understanding the process is the first step toward healing and reclaiming your life with confidence.

 The 3 Phases of Divorce (and Where You Are Right Now)

Phase 1: Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Nearly every woman spends serious time here. The pain of feeling stuck, the endless questioning "Is this what marriage is supposed to feel like?" and the fear of the unknown are all-consuming.

We fight for years to keep things together, losing ourselves in the process. Exhausted. Depleted. Barely recognizing our reflection.

Remember:

• You’re not weak for struggling to let go—you’re human.

• Self-awareness is your first tool. Naming your exhaustion, resentment, and loss of self is where new choices begin.

Phase 2: Deciding Divorce is the Option: Now Who Am I?

Whether the decision was yours, theirs, or mutual, this stage feels both devastating and freeing. Suddenly, your identity, routines, and titles are gone.

But this is also where the magic begins:

• Explore freely. Try new foods, pick up old hobbies, travel, decorate. It's time to figure out what YOU want.

• Practice pleasure. Find joy in simple, non-negotiated desires. (I recommend the book Pussy: A Reclamation for reconnecting with pleasure and desire.)

• Rethink dating. Take time to rediscover yourself before diving into new relationships. Protect your heart but stay open to real connection when you’re ready.

Phase 3: Learning to Thrive in Your New Normal

Life after divorce rarely looks like the life you had before. Friend groups shift, traditions fade, careers and homes sometimes change.

The parenting dynamics, the silence after drop-offs, the new social landscape. It’s a lot. This phase is all about building new rules, boundaries, and joys:

• Clarify priorities. Downsize if it reduces stress. Choose events carefully and say no without guilt.

• Protect your energy. Invest in friendships, habits, and spaces that lift you up.

• Live your values. Whether co-parenting, dating, or setting new traditions, your boundaries matter.

Why Divorce Feels So Crazy (and Why You’re Not “Crazy”)

The chaos isn’t in your head. Divorce impacts every part of your system:

• Emotional Whiplash: Grief, anger, relief, and hope (sometimes all in one hour).

• Loss of Identity: Without your marriage, even small choices feel overwhelming.

• Self-Doubt & Gaslighting: Years of being dismissed can make you second-guess yourself.

• Cognitive Overload: Paperwork, finances, parenting schedules (no wonder your brain feels fried).

• Loss of Control & Isolation: Friends drift, traditions disappear, and loneliness sets in.

How to Move Forward One Step at a Time

You’re not crazy. You’re moving through one of the hardest transitions of your life. And every step, no matter how small, is progress.

Practical steps to ground yourself:

• Take the Finding Your Way Forward quiz  to see where you are.

• Try reflection prompts, value-finding exercises, or daily desire practices.

• Connect with women who understand. Our free Facebook group is a safe starting point.

👉 And if you’re ready for deeper support, join us in The Club —a private community for women navigating divorce. Inside, you’ll get live coaching, proven tools, and a sisterhood that knows exactly what you’re going through. You don’t have to do this alone.

FAQs: Why Divorce Feels Crazy

1. Why does divorce make you feel crazy?
Divorce impacts your emotions, identity, and daily life all at once, creating overwhelm and instability.

2. What are the phases of divorce?

1. Questioning (Should I stay or go?), 2) Identity shift (Who am I now?), 3) Building a new normal.

3. How do I cope with the overwhelm of divorce?
Give yourself grace, seek supportive community, set boundaries, and take one step at a time.

Final Thought

Divorce isn’t the end of your story. It’s the messy, confusing middle. With each phase, you’re writing a new chapter. And the person you’re becoming on the other side? She’s strong, wise, and worth it.

If you’re ready to stop feeling “crazy” and start feeling grounded, come join us inside The Club . Together, we’ll calm the storm, rebuild your confidence, and help you find joy again.

With love and grace,
Erica Bennett
Host, The Crazy Ex-Wives Club