Setting Boundaries After Divorce: Lessons From the Mountains

Empowering Yourself When Life Takes an Unexpected Turn

Hey Club! It’s Erica here, back from a soul-stretching retreat in the Colorado mountains and yes, I brought home some serious clarity for you. There’s something about stepping away from the noise (and losing cell service for days) that reminds you how powerful you actually are, especially when you’re rebuilding life after divorce.

Today, I’m sharing the biggest lessons that surfaced for me this week - lessons about taking charge of your experience, protecting your energy, and saying “no” with confidence. These are practices you can use right now in your healing journey.

You Are In Charge of Your Experience

Here’s the truth that hit me the hardest during my retreat: you are always in charge of your own experience, even when life is nothing like you pictured.

When things are smooth, it’s easy to feel empowered. But what about when your co-parent is being difficult, work feels overwhelming, or divorce has dropped you into a version of life you never asked for?

That’s where your real growth happens.

I arrived expecting deep, trauma-informed healing and instead got yoga training number five. The old me would’ve spiraled into frustration or blame. But instead, I paused and asked myself:

• What can I learn from this?

• How do I make this meaningful for me?

• What do I need right now to feel grounded?

That shift changed everything. And you can use the same approach when your plans fall apart or someone else’s behavior shakes your peace. You can’t control the circumstances, but you can always choose your response.

Don’t Dim Someone Else’s Joy

Another big reminder from my time away: just because something isn’t right for you doesn’t mean it won’t be exactly what someone else needs.

There were fourteen women on that retreat. Many of them were having profound breakthroughs in sessions that didn’t resonate with me. If I had let my disappointment spill out, I could’ve dampened their experience.

Think about work meetings, friendships, or co-parenting moments. You always have a choice:

• vent and pull the energy downward, or

• honor your truth quietly and step back without casting a shadow.

I now prioritize:

• protecting my energy,

• skipping the gossip and blame,

• taking quiet time when I can’t authentically match the room.

If something isn’t for you, it’s okay to step away with grace.

The Power of Saying “No” After Divorce

One of the most freeing lessons is this:

Boundaries aren’t about changing others. They’re about choosing what you will and won’t participate in.

So many women navigating divorce feel pressure to stay, accommodate, fix, smooth things over, or “be agreeable.” But empowerment starts the moment you stop doing things that drain you emotionally, financially, or spiritually.

This week, that looked like:

• leaving the bar early when staying would have exhausted me,

• opting out of retreat activities that didn’t serve my healing,

• reminding myself that it’s not my responsibility to manage other people’s emotions.

If someone or something can’t give you what you need, are you willing to walk away? That’s where your power lives.

(And research from the American Psychological Association shows that setting and maintaining boundaries significantly reduces stress and increases emotional stability—something every woman healing from divorce deserves.)

A Challenge for You: Five Days, Five “No’s”

I’m rolling this mountain energy straight into the November Challenge, and I want you with me.

For five days, you’ll practice saying one simple “no” each day - anything that no longer serves you or pulls you away from your healing.

You’ll get:

• one “no” to practice daily,

• journal prompts and support in the app,

• a growing habit of honoring your energy instead of giving it away.

Because you don’t need my permission to reclaim your power - you just need practice and support from a community that gets it.

Start HERE

Practical Ways to Start Setting Boundaries After Divorce

If you’re ready to take this deeper, start here:

• Say “no” without over-explaining.

• Leave early when your body tells you it’s time.

• Step back from conversations that drain your spirit.

• Remove yourself from dynamics you can’t change.

• Give yourself permission to protect your peace first.

If you want help figuring out where your energy leaks are, let's talk. I offer free Divorce Discovery Calls to help you pinpoint your next step forward. 

Let’s Build Something Beautiful

When you take ownership of your experience, protect your energy, and set boundaries rooted in self-respect, everything shifts. Suddenly you’re not just surviving; you’re rebuilding a life you deeply love.

So, what’s one boundary you’re ready to set this week? What’s one “no” that’s going to open the door to a future you actually want?

Drop it in the comments. Your story might be the spark another woman needs.

With love and grace,
Erica Bennett, Host of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

If you’re ready to join the November Challenge, check the link in the show notes and let’s say NO—together.