How to Have a Good Divorce: Lessons From My Conversation With Sarah Armstrong

How to Have a Good Divorce: Lessons From My Conversation With Sarah Armstrong

Empowering Moms to Thrive Through Change

Divorce is one of life’s biggest upheavals—emotionally, logistically, and for those with children, profoundly impactful for the entire family. But what if we stopped viewing it as a failure and started seeing it as a transition done well—one that sets everyone, especially the kids, up for future happiness?

That’s exactly what Sarah Armstrong believes. She’s the author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce and joined me on The Crazy Ex-Wives Club Podcast to talk about how we can navigate this season with grace, self-awareness, and strength.

You can listen to the full conversation here →  (trust me, it’s worth it). But if you need a few takeaways first, here’s what stood out most.

What a “Good Divorce” Really Looks Like (and Why It Matters)

“No one gets married to get divorced,” I said to Sarah as we began our chat, “and no one gets divorced for positive reasons.”

And yet, as Sarah reminded me, divorce doesn’t have to be a death sentence—it can be a catalyst for growth. The term “good divorce” came from her daughter, Grace, who was only eight at the time and observed that her parents were simply “nice to each other.”

That’s the essence of a good divorce: kindness, respect, and the courage to keep the peace even when emotions run high.
Simple in theory, not easy in practice—but as Sarah put it, “the high road can be really steep, and the view from the top is worth it.”

For your kids—and your own sanity—how you show up matters more than what you’re walking away from.

Making the Decision: Have I Done Everything I Can?

One of the hardest questions many of us face is: “Have I done everything possible to fix my marriage?”

Sarah and I both wrestled with this in our own journeys. She shared that she asked herself whether she could one day look her daughter in the eye and honestly say, “I did all I could.”

That level of reflection is powerful. Because when you know—really know—you’ve done the work, you can move forward without regret.

Her advice: don’t sprint away from the marriage. Walk intentionally. Make decisions from a grounded, conscious place, not from fear or anger.

You’ll know when it’s time. It’s a heart decision, not a checklist.

Becoming Self-Sufficient After Divorce: Your New Superpower

Divorce forces a kind of growth that’s both humbling and empowering. Sarah’s book offers bite-sized chapters for both working and stay-at-home moms, all focused on the same goal: self-sufficiency.

Here are a few key takeaways she shared (and I deeply relate to):

• Learn new skills—from budgeting to basic home repairs

• Build a strong support network (don’t be afraid to ask for help!)

• Embrace outsourcing—hire that handyman, call the neighbor, phone a friend

Post-divorce life is filled with “dial-a-husband” moments, and that’s okay. It’s not weakness—it’s resilience. Every time you solve something yourself or ask for help without shame, you rebuild confidence. That’s self-sufficiency in action.

Curating Your Circle: Energy Givers vs. Energy Takers

One of Sarah’s most grounding insights is about energy management. During and after divorce, your circle matters.

Who fills you up? Who drains you?
Notice how you feel after spending time with someone—calm and seen, or tense and small?

I learned that the people who stayed through my hardest days were the ones who reminded me who I really am. Divorce has a way of clarifying relationships. Choose your energy givers and release the rest.

🎁 Gift Yourself the Good Stuff This Season

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Creating Your New Normal After Divorce: Let Joy Be Your Compass

Eventually, those empty spaces left by divorce become blank canvases. Fill them with joy, new traditions, solo adventures, and things that make you feel alive.

When you embrace your gifted time—especially those quiet nights when the kids are with their other parent—you rediscover parts of yourself you might have buried in the chaos.

Joy isn’t selfish. It’s your compass. Let it lead.

Changing the Narrative—One Story at a Time

There’s no magic wand for healing after divorce. But every intentional step you take—every act of grace, forgiveness, and growth—rewrites the narrative.

As Sarah beautifully said, “It takes effort, but the effort is so worth it.”

Divorce doesn’t define you. It refines you.
So whether you’re newly separated or years into rebuilding, keep taking the high road and know: good divorces do exist. Let’s make yours one of them.

With love and courage,
Erica Bennett
Host of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

💕 Listen & Connect

🎧 Listen to this episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club with Sarah Armstrong → 
🌿 Join The Club community  for tools, connection, and healing.