Reclaiming Your Dating Life After Divorce: Learning to Trust Yourself & Break Old Patterns

Insights, Mindsets, and Practical Tips for Writing a New Chapter—With Grace, Humor, and a Whole Lotta Self-Worth

Hey there, club members and new friends! It’s Erica, your guide on this ever-evolving adventure called post-divorce life. On the latest episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, I sat down with the insightful Christina King—a relationship and dating coach (and fellow divorcée!)—to chat all things dating after divorce. Whether you’re nervously tiptoeing your way into the apps, bracing yourself for another “first date” or simply navigating the landmines of self-trust and confidence, this blog is for you.

Let’s dive in, break down some of the biggest takeaways, and put you in the driver’s seat of your next romantic chapter.

Rediscovering Yourself (Before Swiping Right)

Dating after divorce isn’t just scary because of the unknowns. It’s a crash course in self-trust. Most of us, me included, didn’t jump from the altar straight into self-assured singlehood. Divorce chips away at our confidence. We start to question: Can I trust myself to choose differently? Who will I be in my next relationship?

Here are some grounding truths from my journey (and Christina’s):

• Healing happens in waves. The time between separation and that first date can—should!—be for you: invest in therapy, coaching, working out, spiritual practices, or anything that reminds you who YOU are without anyone else attached.
• Trusting yourself takes practice. If you weren’t great at listening to your gut the first time around, you’re not alone. Rebuilding trust isn’t about being perfect; it’s about noticing yellow and red flags and practicing acting on them.

Low Confidence? You’re Not Alone (And You’re Still Amazing)

Even if you’re rockin’ a new haircut, hitting the gym, and rediscovering yourself, the dating world can knock you right back down.

Why? Because:

• Dating apps are built on strangers' judgments.
• It FEELS like everyone else is happily coupled up.
• You might subconsciously try to fit yourself into someone else’s life rather than asking if they fit the life you’re creating.

Remember:

• You are far more than your relationship status.
• Focus on your wholeness—your career, friendships, quirks, and passions.
• Confidence isn’t about what you look like; it’s about honoring what you’ve learned you need and deserve.

Mindful Dating: Set Boundaries & Intentions

Modern dating is a wild west of swipes, ghosts, and “sooo what are you looking for?” conversations. The good news? You get to set the rules.

Here’s what worked for me:

• Limit your app time: Five swipes a day, tops! Don’t let doomscrolling hijack your hope.
• Set boundaries: Only start conversations with a few people at a time—and only if you’re genuinely interested.
• Intentional mindset: Before you log in, ask yourself: “What do I want to call in right now?” Friendship, adventure, fun, commitment—be specific.
• Reflect, not reject: Every date (even the weird ones!) brings clarity about what matters to you.

Choosing—Not Settling

We all want to “pick better.” But no one gave us the manual! Now’s the time to write it for yourself:

• Make a clear and honest list of non-negotiables—not just superficial traits, but core values and must-haves.
• Ask: Is this yellow flag a deal breaker, or something we can work through together?
• Let go of timelines and “the one” pressure. Instead of “Could I marry this person?”, try “Do I want to see them again tomorrow?”

Giving Yourself—and Others—Grace

Perfection isn’t the goal; conscious growth is. You—and the people you date—are works in progress. Hold your standards high, but leave space for growth, compromise, and the wonderfully weird parts of yourself.

Friendly reminders:

• Not every relationship is forever; some are for a season, and that’s okay.
• Grace goes both ways—everyone’s figuring it out, even if they’re not showing you the messy bits.

Resources & How to Go Deeper

If this all feels daunting—don’t do it alone!

• Check out Christina King’s Perfect Partner Playbook (find the link in the show notes or at crazyexwivesclub.com).
• Need support, laughs, or just someone who gets it? The Club is open for you. Join the community and find your people.

Let’s make dating (after divorce or anytime) a place of courage, joy, and self-discovery. You’ve got this—and we’ve got your back.

Until next week,
Give yourself grace, trust your gut, and keep showing up—with love, always.

💖
Erica

Have you started dating after divorce? Comment or DM me on IG @thecrazyexwivesclub with your funniest or most insightful story. Let’s normalize real talk about the wild world of starting over!

🎁 Grab Christina’s free “Perfect Partner Playbook”: ​https://www.deepdiveintolove.com/the-playbook

The Club: A Divorce Community to Help you Get Clear, Get Grounded and Move Forward. 

Psst… Have you heard? There is a new online space for you to get the support and guidance you need on your divorce journey. The Club is your space to heal, grow and get clear on what you want - whether you are unhappily married or taking those first steps through divorce. The Club offers on-demand programs, monthly live connection calls and a quarterly curated healing kit. Everything The Club offers helps you get clear and get confident on what you want in your next chapter. 

Grab your spot NOW: https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

Learn More About This Week’s Guest: Christina King

Christina King has been telling stories since she was a young girl, but after becoming a certified coach and going through her own divorce in 2023, she discovered her true purpose: helping women heal and date with clarity after heartbreak. Having personally experienced toxic relationships and the chaos of modern dating—ghosting, breadcrumbing, situationships—she deeply understands how overwhelming it can feel to start over. Today, Christina empowers women to rebuild their confidence, trust themselves again, and attract aligned, healthy love by breaking free from old patterns.

Connect with Christina

• Website: www.deepdiveintothesoul.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/christinakingthecoach
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/christinakingthecoach 

Looking for More Support? Let’s Connect

• Instagram: https://instagram.com/crazyexwivesclub 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecrazyexwivesclub
• Website: https://crazyexwivesclub.com 
• Contact: [email protected]
• Free 15 Minute Consult: https://calendly.com/ericabennett/15min