Rewiring Old Patterns & Inviting in Extraordinary Love: Lessons from The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

How Clearing Past Baggage Creates Space for the Love & Life You Deserve

Welcome Back, Club!

Hello, beautiful souls! Erica here from The Crazy Ex-Wives Club, and if you tuned into our powerful conversation with reinvention strategist Riana Malia, you already know—this episode is pure magic. We dove deep into what’s standing between us and extraordinary love, why we get stuck in old patterns, and most importantly, how to break free from them. Today, I’m expanding on our chat, sharing insights and practical steps you can use right now to start inviting more joy, love, and possibility into your life after divorce.

Why We Get Stuck—and Why You’re Not Alone

Let’s be real—navigating the aftermath of divorce is no walk in the park. Even when we know the relationship isn’t right, the pain, grief, and drama can feel overwhelming. As Riana shared so honestly, it’s easy to get stuck telling and retelling the same stories, swirling in the drama and reliving the pain. And while venting, therapy, and girlfriend check-ins are important, they can only take us so far if we don’t clear the actual root causes.

The truth? You’re not crazy, and you’re definitely not alone. Most of us are ambitious, emotionally intelligent women. If logic and willpower alone fixed it, we’d all be home free by now! The challenge isn’t with our conscious mind (that 10% we think is in charge), but with the unconscious—the part of us that’s been quietly storing every memory, wound, and pattern since childhood.

The Power of Clearing (Before You Create)

I can relate so much to Riana’s journey. There’s this cultural pressure to just move on or leap from heartbreak straight into “living your best life.” But real transformation starts with clearing the old, making space for the new. Riana’s “Clear to Create” method is all about this:

• Clear the story to create your life: You can’t keep rehashing the old wounds and expect a new outcome.
• Clear the patterns to create new partnerships: Those unconscious patterns will keep pulling you back unless you do the work to release them.
• Clear the cycles to create confidence: Most of us lose trust in ourselves after heartbreak, but that trust can be rebuilt!

And let’s get honest—it’s not about toxic positivity or pretending you’re “fine.” Real clearing means recognizing and letting go, one layer at a time, often with support and new tools.

Raising Your Frequency, One Step at a Time

Here’s a misconception: that we have to make huge leaps to heal. As we discussed, quantum leaps are sexy in theory, but lasting change comes from climbing the emotional ladder step by step.

• If you’re in despair, let yourself move to anger or annoyance first.
• From there, maybe boredom, then contentment, and so on.
• Step-by-step, you teach your nervous system and your heart that it’s safe to feel more, want more, and receive more out of life.

And YES, this approach creates real, lasting results—like international trips unexpectedly showing up at your doorstep, coffee paid for by strangers, and those little daily miracles that remind you: life can be light again.

Tools for Inviting Magic & Miracles

Ready to start rewiring? Here are a few practical steps inspired by the episode:

1. The Away and Toward Wall Exercise:
• Draw two columns—one for everything you don’t want, another for all you desire.
• Notice throughout the day which wall your thoughts gravitate toward. When you find yourself stuck in negative thinking, snap a rubber band or shift your focus intentionally.
2. Three Quick Shifters:
• Visualize something from your “toward” list—fully immerse yourself.
• Name something you’re genuinely grateful for, big or small.
• Do something kind for someone else, even a small gesture.
3. Embrace the Power of Patterns:
• Track your emotional responses and recurring thoughts.
• Get curious! What old stories are you ready to retire?

Every small, conscious shift opens the door to more magic. And as Riana reminded us, you are a magnet for miracles—you just have to tune your dial to that frequency!

Invitation: What’s Standing Between You & Extraordinary Love?

We wrapped the episode with Riana’s generous Extraordinary Love Index Assessment. If you’re curious about your own patterns around love, trust, and healing, this gift is for you! Find the link in our show notes or head to quiz.Rianamalia.com.

Remember, the root of everything we want—love, happiness, fulfillment—is already inside you. The work is about removing the blocks, owning your story, and watching what new beauty unfolds.

Final Thoughts: Your Journey, Your Pace

Change is a journey, not a race. Be gentle with yourself, keep climbing a little higher each day, and play with those small shifts. The club is here for you—sharing the tools, stories, and support you need to move forward.

If you have a win, a question, or a miracle moment to share—reach out! We’re in this together.

With love and belief in your next chapter,
Erica

P.S.
If you haven’t already, join our supportive community at thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub—because you do not have to do this alone!

The Club: A Divorce Community to Help you Get Clear, Get Grounded and Move Forward. 

Psst… Have you heard? There is a new online space for you to get the support and guidance you need on your divorce journey. The Club is your space to heal, grow and get clear on what you want - whether you are unhappily married or taking those first steps through divorce. The Club offers on-demand programs, monthly live connection calls and a quarterly curated healing kit. Everything The Club offers helps you get clear and get confident on what you want in your next chapter. 

Grab your spot NOW: https://www.thecrazyexwivesclub.com/theclub

Learn More About This Week’s Guest: Riana Malia

Riana Malia is a Speaker, Author, and Reinvention Strategist who helps high-achieving women clear emotional patterns, rewire subconscious beliefs, and step into full-spectrum self-expression. She’s the creator of the Clear to Create™ Method and Quantum Pattern Protocol™, blending neuroscience, quantum healing, and emotional re-patterning to guide women into soul-aligned love and leadership. Her work has been featured in Brilliant Magazine, The Mamahood, and on top podcasts like InspiHER’d and From Betrayal to Breakthrough. Named one of NY Weekly’s “Top 30 Empowering Women Entrepreneurs to Watch in 2025,” Riana leads women to become magnetic to what once felt impossible.

Connect with Riana

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/ 
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMalia/ 
• https://quiz.rianamalia.com/ 

Looking for More Support? Let’s Connect

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• Website: https://crazyexwivesclub.com 
• Contact: [email protected]
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