Learning to Love the Skin You’re In: Healing After Divorce and Embracing Body Confidence

 Divorce isn’t just the end of a partnership—it’s the start of a radical self-rediscovery. On a recent episode of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club podcast, host Erica Bennett took listeners deep into the emotional wilderness that follows separation. She tackled a topic that feels all too familiar for many women navigating divorce: learning to love your body, at every stage.

Why Body Confidence Feels So Hard After Divorce

Erica opened up about the rollercoaster of body image post-divorce—from the days when a gym routine brings you into “the best shape of your life” to the reality checks that hit when life gets busy, new relationships form, and old routines get left behind.

Despite the external transformation, she confessed:

“Why was I still having some negative self-talk, some limiting beliefs around who I was or what I looked like?”

If you’ve been there, you know—no amount of crunches or salads can quiet those critical voices if you haven’t truly made peace with yourself.

Seasons of the Body: A New Perspective

To unpack this, Erica invited body image coach and author Marla Mervis Hartman onto the show. Marla reminded listeners that our bodies, like our lives, move through seasons.

“There are cycles in life,” she explained, “and you get to decide what part of that experience you want to bring in and what part is not realistic.”

If you don’t have five hours a week for the gym anymore, that’s not a failure—it’s simply a shift in priorities.

Breaking Free from Diet Culture

For many, the cycle of dieting, emotional eating, and shame spirals isn’t really about food at all. Marla explained that these habits are more about how we treat ourselves and what emotions we’re avoiding.

“There is an addiction that happens with dieting,” she said. “It feeds us. We’re trying to not smoke a cigarette—but we’re hanging out with people who smoke cigarettes.”

In other words, we live in a culture that praises thinness, making it especially hard to step away from self-criticism.

Small, Powerful Shifts Toward Self-Love

So what’s the real work? According to both Erica and Marla, it begins with your internal dialogue. Instead of racing to the next restrictive plan or beating yourself up after a “bad” day, slow down and ask yourself:

• What do I really need right now?

• What do I want to put back in?

• What actually feels good?

Practical steps include:

• Reframing negative self-talk into gentle curiosity.

• Celebrating one feature you love about your body.

• Choosing movement that feels nourishing, not punishing.

• Allowing yourself to eat in ways that fuel joy as well as health.

Modeling Body Confidence for Our Children

For moms, Marla stressed the importance of modeling a nurturing relationship with your own body. That means being honest with your kids about challenges while reminding them: their worth is never tied to a number on the scale.

When you treat yourself with kindness, you show them how to do the same.

Final Thought

The healing journey post-divorce is rarely linear, but as Erica and Marla showed, it can absolutely lead to self-acceptance, joy, and a love for the unique body you inhabit—today, and every day that follows.

And if you’re ready for more support on this path, I’d love to invite you into The Club—our private community where women just like you are finding connection, guidance, and a safe space to heal and thrive. You don’t have to do this alone.

With love and grace,
Erica Bennett
Host of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

With love and grace,
Erica Bennett
Host of The Crazy Ex-Wives Club

Meet this Week's Guest: Marla Mervis-Hartman

Marla Mervis-Hartmann, Best Selling author of "BE-Friend Yourself-Finding Freedom with Food and Peace with your Body" is a Coach, Reiki Master, and TEDx speaker dedicated to guiding people toward deep love and peace with their bodies, food, and lives. Marla works at Ai Pono a Eating Disorder Recovery Center sharing Body-Love Reiki Circles and was known as the leading body image expert and Reiki Master at Journey Malibu–a Drug and Alcohol rehabilitation center. Most recently, she has been featured at TEDx Salinas. Her dedication to women’s studies has had several focuses including women’s sexual wellness, postpartum care, pelvic floor support, tantra and yoga instruction, massage therapy, and lifestyle coaching through Love Your Body, Love Yourself.

Connect With Marla:
 

 🌟 TEDx Talk: ⁠The Secret Ingredient to Feeling Good in Your Body⁠

🌟 Free Course: ⁠Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Eating⁠

🌟 Facebook: ⁠Love Your Body Love Yourself⁠ | ⁠Marla Mervis⁠

🌟 Instagram: ⁠@loveyourbodyloveyourselfalways⁠

🌟 Website: ⁠loveyourbodyloveyourself.com⁠

🌟 YouTube: ⁠Marla Mervis⁠

🌟 Book: ⁠BE-Friend Yourself on Amazon⁠ | ⁠Book Website